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Relaxing
ambience helps leaders to overcome differences
by Margot Cairnes
I recently spent two days with the
executive committee of a major multinational. It had
taken me several months to convince these executives
that there was some point in their getting together to
enhance their relationships and solve some major
strategic issues. Their last meeting together (before
our two days) had ended in bitter acrimony. They had
disagreed vehemently on a particular issue and argued
about it all day - resolving nothing except their
conviction that they didn't get on, had nothing in
common, and hated their meetings.
They were all very sceptical in these circumstances that
we could achieve anything of value by spending time
together. However, due to my strong personal
relationship with each of them they were prepared to
trust me to see where we could go.
The first day of our workshop we spent walking. The
weather was wonderful (unusual for Europe at that time
of year) and the district we were in was beautiful. We
stayed in a lovely manor house and lunched in a
delightful tavern. The rules of the walk were simply
that people walk in pairs and share personal (not work)
information with each other for one hour before changing
partners and doing the exercise again. Before we started
walking we practised actively listening for the humans
behind the words (as against for information).
During the last few hours of the first day we revisited
their previous point of disagreement - only to find that
each saw the issue in a different light. They had thus
been bitterly arguing about entirely different things.
Once they sat and listened to each other, the conflict
dissolved and the issue was easily and quickly resolved.
The next day we tackled a long and challenging strategic
agenda (one they thought they would never achieve in the
time). In fact, after completing the set objectives, we
had time left at the end of the day to discuss a number
of personal and related issues.
They were stunned. How could walking in the sunshine and
playing a few "silly games" (ie listening to each other)
have led to such a shift in their behaviour and such
fruitful strategic decision making?
It all seemed pretty obvious to me. Normally when they
met they were tired, stressed and haggled - fronting up
to yet another meeting in their busy schedule. From this
place they didn't listen to each other or relate with
any level of human connectedness or openness. After a
day's walking and listening to each other as people,
they were relaxed, accepting and had built a bridge of
relationship. From this place they were prepared to open
their minds, and their ears - to see the issues from a
different perspective and encompass the width and depth
of experience and insight of their peers. They could
easily have spent the same length of time holed up in an
office and come out with nothing more than a headache
and a reinforced dread of meetings.
Instead we spent up-front time enjoying ourselves, each
other and relearning some of the simplest most important
life lessons. Lessons that flowed through to the
strategic decision making and leadership of these very
important and influential men.
Our little walk in the sunshine was a quantum leap in
behaviour for these leaders, one that could well result
in a quantum leap in performance.
Margot Cairnes
- Copyright ã Margot
Cairnes
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